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The way we see ourselves, and our external reality, the way we understand others or imagine that others understand us. This means that we often suffer without real need, that is, if someone has developed, throughout their life, the belief that they are not loved, because they had parents who did not have good emotional skills and, therefore, were unable to convey what they felt to their child, such a person may distort gestures they receive from others as confirmation of not being loved. Let's exemplify with a fictional story: a man created based on the example mentioned above, believes that he is not loved by his wife whenever she does not offer him affection on a given day. In reality, this woman behaves normally, because like him, it's not every day that she pays attention to giving affection or even doesn't want to or is willing to.
Promote it on a daily basis, but she loves him. However, based on the belief he has developed, in this case since childhood, that he is a man incapable of being loved by another person, whenever Country Email List the woman fails to show affection, he interprets it as a reaffirmation of his belief and finds himself sad. It is worth saying that this often occurs automatically, or pre-consciously, that is, the individual does not even realize the mechanism, or the rule that they created for themselves. He just reacts automatically and everything is very fast and real for him, and from then on he behaves, which is the same as saying that the way we perceive or interpret situations will determine how we behave. Returning to what we were saying previously and now connecting the dots, it is possible that the man mentioned above lives most of the time with his wife.
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Unhappy with the relationship. As we have seen, his interpretation is based on a belief developed many years ago, from his relationship with his parents and which is reproduced in his marriage. So we have the same situation that is interpreted in at least two ways, one way is that of the man and another that is of the woman and the latter in turn, feels something strange in her husband's behavior, however, believes that everything is fine , because he didn't talk about it with her. For the man in the example, we have an unhappiness that takes over his mood, his marriage, his daily life, who feels unloved, but doesn't know what to do with it and finds himself trapped in this vicious cycle. This is where psychotherapy can come in, as this man, or this couple, at some point may choose to face what is happening and seek professional help from a psychologist for this.
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